REGULAR TRAVELERS OF THE VENICE BLVD HIGHWAY a.k.a. "the renters' Olympic" may be familiar with the crop of soylent green shacks that occupy the block between Midway and Westwood. If you live within a block's radius, you may know it better as "the place where that Mexican guy with the long hair lives who plays weirdly relaxing Deep Purple riffs all day". And if I have my way, you will soon know it as the Mayor's homely seat. Negotiations are currently underway to have my mayoral compound moved from its current location to the Soylent Homes. along with my staff members (Franky, Lea, Rose, Janet, Josh, Denice, Mrs Brown from downstairs, and Marcus and Dijon from across the way). Proceedings are stalling however, since the location's current tenants are understandably reluctant to relinquish their $77 monthly rent fees. Besides, that would set me a few hundred feet further away from Habib's Market. But my father, currently residing at the Dunn House (for real) in West Penang, Malaysia is in plum, dumb love with these homes, and it's everyone's dream to finally buy their parents a mansion for all their years of toil and sacrifice. Even if you could punch a hole through one of its walls if you got drunk enough.

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