CAME HOME LATE LAST NIGHT AFTER SOME CHINESE FOOD I REGRET now to an email announcing that The Palms Weekend has been approved as a member of the Vice Blogging Network. I saw the tidy badge above on my friend Sandra B.'s blog Grimy Goods and became wildly jealous, even more so after she told me Vice approached her about joining VBN, instead of her having to submit a respectful email to info@dontholdyourbreath.com in a listless bid for acceptance, as I did. I dig Vice, and have sent them all my CDs, atop which I'd wager many a staff member has chopped and consequently snorted powdery substances before throwing at a wall because it's their job to crush dreams. While in Brooklyn a few years ago I even dropped in on the nuclear bunker they call an office to try the 'straightforward' approach. All I remember is being deafened by the sound of my feeble hand knocking against a huge urban-looking steel door covered in stickers that never opened. So this is a pleasant surprise. Supposedly this will also get me carte blanche at some hipster events, so who knows, maybe something other than air and my finger will finally be going up my nose. I doubt it though, I told Fuji to shoot me if he ever sees me wearing pink Vans, and I wanna be around at least until 2014 to catch the World Cup in Rio.

In any event, mission accomplished. Well, sort of. I always told myself blogging is for losers, and I would never give my music away. Now I spend precious moments time will never give me back writing pithy posts about how to save three cents on coffee while trying to talk people into listening to my life's work as they read about Angela Simmons' controversial new ankle bracelet on Bossip. The Internet giveth life, and it taketh away. On that note: "Ayatollah Presley" is here to satisfy your "punch you in the face, stab your brain with your nosebone" rap urges. Click to listen and share

Palms Weekend at Bamboo premieres tomorrow night. Come ye hungry, come ye thirsty, come ye of burning feet. It's gonna be sexy.

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