THANKS TO KRISTINA A. OF PALMS FOR CONTRIBUTING THIS 'URBAN BUCOLIC' PHOTOGRAPH of a woman who apparently made a day of a payphone conversation. If you happened to give a homeless woman near Venice and Overland change last weekend, now you know where it went. Of course, she could be calling people just long enough for her payphone's number to appear on the other person's caller ID, then hanging up before her quarter disappears and waiting for a call back. But chances are she's talking to another homeless person - presumably also sat in a chair off a major intersection - who I assume would also be loathe to pay for the conversation. Maybe homeless people really do make hundreds of dollars a day and don't give a shit about no stinking quarter. I see them refuse food all the time. I've never refused food in my life.

In regional news, a porn actor living in the Ultima DVD warehouse in Van Nuys stabbed three co-workers (whatever that means) with a sword, killing one. Oh, and an Orange County actor is in custody for killing two people for sixty grand and spreading their body parts throughout Long Beach parks. Seems the recession is finally hitting Hollywood proper. As if it isn't bad enough that L.A. gang violence is back on the uptick, we may soon have to contend with rampaging packs of out-of-work actors intent on killing you in the most dramatic way possible, in case James Cameron happens to be driving past. I fear for the children.

In world news, Israeli soldiers killed nine Turks on a Gaza aid ship. Muslims blame the Jews, and Jews blame the Muslims. BP's latest attempt to cap the Gulf Of Mexico oil spill failed. Republicans blame the Democrats, and Democrats blame the Republicans. As this issue of The Palms Weekend goes to press, the possibility that the Muslim, Jewish, Democratic and Republican movements are all bumbling tard factories fucking the world up one disaster at a time has not yet been slated for discussion. Oh, and I saw the MGD truck again, in the Trader Joes parking lot this morning. Could it be following me?

I just can't believe it's Wednesday.

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