Have you ever seen a sexier doorhanger? Sure you haven't. This is a revolution, folks. If your rusty doorknob receives the honor of having one of these beauties hanging from it, you should immediately frame and place it beside the family portraits. These belong in the Hall of Fame for marketing, and hanging off Oscar De La Renta's front door for sheer style. And as a pre-emptive 'pause', I only know who he is because I was in the waiting room yesterday at my uncle's orthopedic practice and picked up a copy of Latina Magazine with this model named Arlenis Sosa on the front. Holy cow. Then Unc injected hydrocortizone an inch into my left foot. Something called Morton's Neuroma. Franamami says it sounds like a Martin Scorsese movie. Being Persian comes in handy in general, but especially when you have no health insurance. It would be nice if he wasn't just a bone doctor though. He wasn't much help with my flu.

Anyway, I just got back from picking up a thousand of these puppies from NextDayFlyers.com, located in Rancho Dominguez, a.k.a. the section of Compton the corporations bought and renamed so Becky and Brad wouldn't know they were on their way to The Hood until they were driving by rusting car wrecks and swerving to avoid pugnacious inner-city roosters. I tried my hardest not to, but am ashamed to report that I rapped Ice Cube's "Straight Outta Compton" verse from the freeway offramp to NextDayFlyers. I did, of course, vocally bleep out the n-bombs. I promise.

The doorhangers come courtesy of Bamboo Restaurant, the site of our new Thursday night gig which last night was composed of maybe four guys and a bunch of girls dancing with each other, as usual. Again, it would behoove (ding!) you fellas to stop sucking each other off just long enough to come through on a Thursday and get a piece of this. Assuming you like women. Which is apparently not such a safe assumption these days. I figure 1,000 will be enough to plaster the neighborhood and then some, so any of you who's been waiting for the right time to jump on the Palms Weekend bandwagon and write for the site - you know, after I've built a brand and done all the legwork with this nerve-damaged foot of mine - now is your time.

Saints & Sinners tonight! 10899 Venice Blvd. I'm on at ten, and my left foot is just starting to realize that a piece of metal went into it yesterday, so I may need a few drinks.

Does JetBlue fly out of Compton Airport?

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