This blog site doesn't allow you to enlarge pictures without a bunch of stupid side-effects, so pardon this flyer's shite appearance here, and click on it to view in its full splendor.
IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME COMING - 30 years, actually. So I figured I should do something big for it. Humans have some kind of obsession with multiples of ten, which makes this birthday much more meaningful than the last nine. So rather than be all stoic and boring and ring in my fourth decade on Earth with a fucking dinner party or something stupid like that, I have instead elected to do it big, because I am big. I am a fucking rock star. That's just how I feel. I think I will be cursing a lot in this post. Fair warning.
I am a rapper, as many of you probably do not know, because, for some reason, that is the only aspect of my infinite talents that I choose not to shamelessly self-promote to the Palms Weekend crowd. Well, those days are over. I've been in Burnie Nowax DJ mode for the last two years, but I feel a rap attack coming on. 2009 is the year Malkovich returns to burn. (see? I couldn't control it if I wanted to.) As such, I have a new mixtape out which I have named Bankruptcy, because I like to live the message in my music. It features a song or two from all my upcoming projects which will drop in the next year: Jim Kong Ill, where I impersonate the North Korean dictator for a whole record; Flighty, where I impersonate myself for a whole record; and The Palms Weekend, the album Sum and I are creating as a homage to this big wonderful mess of music, alcohol and exciting mustaches that we are all living together (see And So The Palms Weekend Album Begins). I'm throwing in a bunch of unreleased songs and radio freestyles to round out the package.
This party will serve as, among many other things, a release party for Bankruptcy. So I would have thrown a party around mid-March of this year even if it wasn't my birthday (which is a stupid thing to say: it's always my birthday in mid-March). I'm gonna shut up for now, because I could go on for roughly 1% of the Internet's total available memory about all the wonderful surprises I have lined up for you jerks, but I don't want to blow my wad too soon. Nobody likes it when that happens.
All you need to remember is THURSDAY MARCH 12, at The Mint. I will be performing. Sum & Taurus and their band The Milky Way will be performing. Nick the bartender will be crooning his heart out. There will be standup comedy from Freddy Harris, a.k.a. the 2009 Eddie Murphy. Everyone gets a free copy of Bankruptcy. My long-awaited video for "Iran So Far Away", where I impersonate a Persian pop star to the tune of the '80s classic (see THE COIF DEBATE), will be on the big screen. And yes... there will be a line around the block to roast me. God knows I've dished out the jabs. And God knows I'm gonna take some on the 12th.
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