I've done lots of stupid things in my time.
I used to eat ants, construction paper and glue.
I used to vandalize cop cars.
One time, I kicked a mailbox so hard, two of my toenails fell off.
I had a mentally challenged friend named Richard who used to challenge me to see who could stare at the sun the longest. For this reason, I am legally blind.
He was retarded and adventurous, and I was competetive, so we made a reckless pair.
On Saturday, I ate a candle.
I've slept in an air shaft to skip work, jumped from a three-story building onto concrete, and lit my leg hair on fire because I enjoyed the smell.
And now I've done Flowbama.
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