Friday 9.12.08 : Four Ways You Know Sum Is F*cked Up

So yeah, I'm back from getting married. I was gone for almost a month, and it showed in how weak my tolerance was when I got back. On Friday night, Cooper, Truck and several regulars obliterated me into pieces of a man. I was drunk as a fuck.

I talked to Ian the next day and told him I was drunk as a fuck on Friday night, and he was like "Really dude? I couldn't tell. Oh wait, you were freestyling when I left and it was the worst freestyle I've ever heard". Yeah.

I get that "Oh really dude, you were drunk?" alot, so it made me think that maybe in the interest of the safety, well being and health of those around me, I'd give you guys a few hints so you can know when I've had enough.

CLUE #1) I START GROPING MYSELF




















Friends and family.... please cut me off if you look up in the DJ booth and see me rubbing my own arms and elbows. Unless I'm sweating or riddled with hornet stings, this means I am drunk and loving myself too much. Stop me before I go home and do something with myself I'll regret in the morning.

CLUE #2) I DO AN EXTENDED POP LOCK ROUTINE AFTER A SHOT
Kinda like this guy, but imagine him as a grown black man with a drink in his right hand and standing next to James:

CLUE #3) I START RAPPING BUT NEVER FINISH A LINE
I like to build dramatic tension in my written rhymes and freestyles...so I'll take long pauses between connecting thoughts. But when I'm drunk, the thoughts just never connect, so I'll just say some stupid shit like "The Korean assassin hobbled out of the trailer........................." and then just start smiling. Cut me off.

CLUE #4) I START COMING UP WITH ALIASES FOR EVERYBODY IN SIGHT
Dr. Candyshots, Creepy J, The Fat Tire Phantom, Edward Biggerhands, Burlymon, Mustachio, Mustachio's Intern, Captain Kickout....the list goes on. If you've been to Saints more than twice, James and I prolly got an alias for yo' ass too. It's what we do.

Come through this weekend though and see what aliases we come up with next.....