answer: MORGAN FREEMAN LOOKS LIKE THE CAT IN THE HAT.

RAFIKI FROM THE LION KING? YOSHI FROM SUPER MARIO BROS? Scrooge fucking McDuck? Really?

I guess it's good nobody guessed correctly, because Sum would have had to buy the winner's prize drinks - he's filling in for me tonight at Saints & Sinners while I deejay a party in San Diego for the company that converted the Shrek movies to 3D - and I'm not sure he's even aware of the competition. I've a good mind to push the idea of a Cat In The Hat movie starring Freeman to the designers at the Shrek party. At the very least I should be able to get a free lunch out of it. Something with capers.

Turns out Freeman's in the news today - he's getting divorced - so that should get this story a few extra hits. I can't imagine him getting divorced. Actually, I can't imagine him doing anything but smiling knowingly and taking pleasant walks. Maybe that's why his wife divorced him. Sounds cute for the first ten years.

Man. No need to shell out duckets on a prize. I get to pitch my movie to a big-time animation company. Freeman's family life falls apart on the same day I post a story about him. Things are really working out!