Thursday 8.7.08 aka "Fat Tire Phantom, Who Art Thou?"

Yo, last week was dead, son. DUMB dead. Tumbleweed and dust bowl dead.

The only company your friendly neighborhood DJs had besides Jorge and Southy was a dude we like to call "The Fat Tire Phantom".... you may remember reading about him a couple of posts ago. This is the mysterious white guy in a hoodie who runs into the bar ONLY on the deadest of happy hours, with his car running outside the bar on Venice in rush hour traffic, orders one pint of Fat Tire and drinks it in three gulps or less....while standing. Then vanishes from sight. It's one of the illest drinking techniques we've ever seen.

Because nothing else really happened that night, it's giving us a perfect opportunity to really pick this apart. Cus why? Cus this dude is the Regular Who Isn't. This dude doesn't just guzzle his beer, he waits until no one is looking.... he waits until both DJs are looking at computers or mirrors, ....he waits until Southy is looking down cutting lemons and Jorge is deep in the LA Weekly, then he gulps


and disappears. Completely vanishes. At most, we'll see his back on the way out.

Fat Tire Phantom, Who Art Thou?

I've seen you walk into the bar wearing Kid Robot paraphernalia...are you a toy maker? Do you make toys, Fat Tire Phantom?

Why don't you chill a taste? Why do you leave your car running in front of the fire hydrant?

One day we started asking him these questions, and at first he was laughing. But after about 4 questions, he gave us the "back the f%#k up" face and stopped answering. The last exchange we had went something like this:

Sum: Hey dude, why don't you just chill for a minute and sit down to enjoy your drink?
Fat Tire Phantom: I don't drink.

*Sum closes his eyes in laughter, and when they open, the Phantom is gone, leaving a $3 tip and two sips of beer in his pint*

One day man, we're gonna figure you out. But if we don't, it's all good... as long as you're around, we know The Palms Weekend is still alive. And really weird.

1 comment:

  1. carolyn...aka...*sugar*October 3, 2008 at 1:53 PM

    i see this guy all the time. he constantly comes in during my happy hour... he even occasionally orders a shot of kettle one. both gone in a split second. one day i asked said,"aren't you ever gonna just sit down at my bar?" this question seemed to irritate this phantom and he left quicker than usual with and even more sour look on his face. please figure this guy out because he almost borders on creepy... =)


Related Posts with Thumbnails