Thursday 8.14.08: Sum's last Thursday before he gets married. Promise.

Chip, looking kind of like a beakless bird in this picture.

As you're probably aware, we have been milking this "Sum's getting married" angle for the last two weeks. Last Friday the emails and text messages said "Sum's last Friday before he gets married!", so people came through and gave him the hugs and backslaps and their opinions on marriage and left not expecting to hear from Sum again until the deed was done. So when we sent out the "Sum's last Thursday before he gets married!" messages almost a week later, I think many of the people who showed up came just to make sure he was actually going to fucking leave this time. Don't worry, people. I live on his block, so take it from me. He's definitely gone. There will be no more marriage-related text messages.

But come to think of it, the turnout was pretty nice. Pudge, Tika, X-Man, Rareform a.k.a. the Planters Man, Benny, Jorge, Jason... I'm starting to think we should have gone even further with the marriage angle. "Sum's last hamburger before he gets married!" "Sum's last dentist appointment before he gets married!" Hey, you know what they say about publicity.

We even got a visit from Chip, the infamous patron saint of... Saints. Chip's current occupation is being paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to write the inane voice-over blather for shows like World's Greatest Pogo-Stick Chases and When Sharks Rob Banks. But he was a bartender at Saints until last year, and was more or less the face of the place: Magnum P.I. shades, a handlebar mustache and one hand on your ass, no matter what is or isn't swinging beteween your thighs. Which reminds me: what is it with white guys and the gay play? White guys will drop their nuts on their friend's forehead, or squeeze a dude's ass just to piss him off, all for laughs. I knew there was a reason I never joined a fraternity in college.

I thought it was so nice of Chip to go out of his way to stop by and wish Sum well on his leap into this next phase of life, but now that I think about it, he told me he was on his way to the movie theater and just stopped through to get a drink. So there's that.

Anyway, Chip is the guy who gave us our first gig at Saints, so I'll always be grateful to him for that. Or, Chip is the reason I wake up drunk two mornings a week, so I'll always harbor a deep resentment toward him. Either works.