POLL: What's Worse Than Gym Music?

not a thing
nuclear war
screw you, Maroon 11 rocks
pollcode.com free polls

I know, this is my fault.

It's common knowledge that Apple pays Bally (again, no apostrophe-s) Total Fitness hefty clammage to blast the kind of music the US military tortured Saddam Hussein with in his final days, routinely moving throngs of patrons to run clear off their treadmills, out the front doors, and screaming into the Best Buy next door to buy the first iPod they can get their trembling hands on. This post wouldn't exist if I had remembered my mp3 player today, and the words to Aaliyah's "One In A Million" would probably still be pinging about in my head like they have been all week since my boy Belief posted his excellent remix which you should listen to while having slow, wet sex in an opium den as soon as you can. In its place, I now have a murky goulash of anonymous ballads from wispy blondes with names like Taylor Degrume and Morgan Legume, and KROQ radio-rock nuggets from the likes of Macaroon 11 and many other bands who seem to think performing on a rooftop is still a cool video concept.

My feelings on gym music should be clear by this point. But I'm interested in your opinions on this too for some reason, so vote early and vote often in the poll below, and tell a friend. And then come see me deejay Friday nights at Saints & Sinners. Sum has jumped ship to the land of Friday night backrubs and salmon croquettes, so the plan is to puff my hair up so huge that I will actually look like two people, so when people offer to buy shots, I can still order two. Do not bring your iPod.

No wonder personal instructors are douches.

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