BEETHOVEN IN TIMBERLANDS. Canibus, "Vitruvian Canman" [songaday]

In this episode, LL Cool J is somewhere in the posh end of Queens, polishing his Grammy with one square of slightly dampened toilet paper and acting like anyone remembers his reply song to "2nd Round Knockout". In a studio across town, Canibus is beginning to pace his cell a touch slower than in years recent, as Wyclef doubles his dose of tranquilizers under the weighty glare of one hundred and eight diabetic record executives. Suddenly the meters start jumping. Canibus flexes his temples and the cobweb of nodes attached to his head fall off like dead skin. Arms outstretched, he floats almost a full two feet off the ground as he combines with the beat: "let me wipe the mucus out the side of your mind's eye..." It is two minutes and eleven seconds before the orderlies can break the door down and dogpile him into submission. Later on, a hairline fracture is noticed in the three-inch-thick glass.

The mix is terrible. The song is too short. The album didn't go straw. Just imagine what the side of your head would look like if this song had actually been done right. Hip-hop was too much for the world. I'm surprised the mainstream withstood so much intensity for so long.

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