HAVEN'T BEEN SCAMMED IN A FEW YEARS. A crackhead posing as a high school gym teacher in a Brooklyn liquor store greased five bucks off me for some dead kid's funeral, stole a rose on his way out and jumped in a cab like he was late for a flight to Mauritius.

In my defense, I was two hours into four mushroom caps, and he was holding a clipboard.

So I guess I was due for the bamboozling I received at the hands of a blowhard ex-Navy SEAL with an arm cast that I met at the bar on the Amtrak train I caught Wednesday to "A Whale's Vagina" a.k.a. Sandy Aygo. For the full account, check the movie above, recorded from the San Diego-Coronado Island Ferry which we were already sitting on when we realized we'd been made. Sound quality improves about thirty seconds in, so turn your volume up and stop crying.

In my defense, he said there'd be free beer.

Saints & Sinners tonight! 10899 Venice Blvd, corner of Kelton. No cover. Good music. You know, the music you're humming while you're listening to crappy music. Tomorrow night I'm at The Central S.A.P.C. a.k.a. 14 Below for the new millennium. Santa Monica Blvd. at the corner of 14th. Read all about it here. Also no cover. Also good music. Coincidence?

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